Canaries of the Fortuitous Coalmine
by Intern Amelia
Summary: A fanventure in which four dead trolls battle against a sgrurb session for the chance to live again.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: The End of It All

The Vast Glub was not as the name hinted. Not in the slightest. The Vast Glub sounds like the cry of an iceberg as it topples to the sea: harsh, cold, and quiet. For Bereni Timaha, the pulse of psychic energy that exterminated her race was not any of these things. It was a sun exploding in her skull, dazzling her pupils with unholy light before leaving her to gargle in her own olive green blood. It was warm, salty and wet, with all the wailing and gnashing of teeth armageddon could summon. The Glub was one final, bloody yelp of incoherence before the long dark.

She did not expect death to be quite this dark. As a mostly nocturnal species, trolls are used to living under the shadow of night, but this was something else. Nightime is the absence of light, but death is the absence of everything. There were no moons leering overhead, no lusii tucked in pockets of black. There was nothing.

Having no idea whether it was truly her final curse to languish in the eternal black, Bereni was still somewhat startled to find a light weaving toward her. Time seemed to vanish into the abyss, so she could not tell you when she first saw it, or how long it took to approach her. All she could say was that it entranced her; a golden light tracing through the darkness like dandelion fluff on a breeze.

" Hello?" She called out. It did not feel like she spoke, she didn't even know if she truly had a body in this deathly netherworld, but Bereni knew that she somehow sent a message into the void.

" Wait." The light hissed, its voice sounding like a thousand snakes scraping together.

Wait she did. Bereni watched the orb twine its way toward her, and as it got closer she made out more detail. The orb's center was creamy white, as if a cluckbeast's egg had been split in two, but it branched into slender golden filaments around the outside. When the orb was close enough to highlight her features in its gentle glow, pinched eyes and straight nose giving way to a strong chin, then again it spoke.

" Bereni Timaha?" Its hissing voice whispered. Filaments of gold waved rhythmically behind it.

" Present."

" You were victim to an untimely death." The orb wavered on the word untimely, like it was enjoying some grand joke only it understood.

" Well, I mean no offense, but duh. The Vast Glub killed all trollkind didn't it?" No response.

" Would you like to proceed?" It asked.

" To what?"

" What lies beyond."

" I don't have much option do I?" The orb dissolved into pockets of sundazzle, undulating around itself, and Bereni could have sworn it was wheezing a chuckle.

" Do you always answer with questions?" The orb teased. Bereni didn't bother to answer. After it settled into what resembled its former blob, the orb resumed speaking.

" There is another way," The orb didn't wait for her response this time. " In a happy chance of fate, there may be a second chance."

" I'll do it." Bereni would climb naked over a bed of rusty nails if it made her get another shot.

" So eager, little troll," Another wheezing puff erupted. " There are rules. There is a game of your universe, coined by its recent progenitors as Sgrub, which you must play to return to a state of living. It will not be the same as the original which caused the extermination of your people, however it will not be any easier."

" So I play this game and…"

" And if you win, you live."

" What if I lose?"

This agitated the orb. It bobbed, flickered, and light sprung from it it jagged shoots as it proclaimed,

" If you lose, you return here. There will be no passing on to the regular afterlife, no form of redemption should you fail. There is only you, alone in here, for eternity."

Bereni didn't even miss a beat: " Sign me up." It was only as the orb jeered a truly unsettling laugh, and began to fade into the murky black, that she began to think of the true consequences.

" Oh, I forgot to mention," The orb tittered as it disappeared, " You'll be playing with three other trolls as teammates."

The next thing Bereni knew was a tug in her stomach that meant she was falling.


	2. Author's Note: IMPORTANT

**THiS AUTHOR'S NOTE IS NO LONGER RELEVANT. Due to some feedback, I am posting this story with illustrations accompanying it on AO3. HOWEVER, the written work without the illustrations will also be uploaded to fanfiction for everyone's convenience. AO3 will be receiving updates first, and honestly will be better composed, formatted, a lot prettier, and just a better reading experience over all. If you want to experience this the way I, the author, intend you to, you should go read it on AO3. I'm not sure how long the delay between sites will be.**

 **"But Amelia, why do you keep this author's not here if it's no longer relevant to the progression of this story?" I'll tell you why random citizen! It marks a historical moment in the creation of this text, and so for narrative integrity I am preserving its existence. Think of it as a strange, weirdly placed sojourn into another universe of this tales existence, instead of a bothersome eyesore which interrupts the fiction's flow. Go about you business, and " Insert Star Trek quote here".**

Hey all!

So, as you can tell this is a very recent story, and it is an idea I have been sitting on for a while. Because homestuck fanventures are cast in such a negative light most times, ( And to be honest, I totally understand why) I would appreciate some feedback on the first installment before I continue. My grand plan is to continue this story on AO3 because I want to include illustrations of the adventure and that's not a format supported here, but I want to see how this little preview is received before I go ahead. Just post some thoughts in the reviews, or message me, and I'll see what I decide.

Hugs,

Intern Amelia.


	3. Chapter 1 Continued

Hitting her head on a prong-basin was not the ideal way for Bereni to wake up. After what felt like an eternity, and yet no time at all, she found herself jerking awake on the floor of her hygiene block; promptly smashing her head on the prong-basin directly over her. While seeing blue dots swirl around her vision, she took the opportunity to quickly curl back up on the floor and collect her thoughts.

Had it all been a nightmare? Had a group of hives in her communal stem thrown a reveling of some sort, and the horrible visions of The Vast Glub all been a substance induced vision? Could the ache in her calcium rods simply be a hangover?

But when she uncurled from her trembling ball, and faced herself in the reflector-pane, Bereni knew she couldn't delude herself any further. She was coated in crusted blood. It was caked on in olive blobs, hardened like it had been there for days. Smeared over her face, her nose, her chin, her blood was like some demented war paint. It also had dribbled from her ears into her hair, congealing the strands of midnight black around her face into stick straight bundles. She might as well have wallowed around in a culling field for the look of her clothes.

Bereni handled it the best way she knew how: Shrieking, stripping naked as if her clothes were on fire, and proceeding to scrub every inch of her shell as if her life depended on it. Her hair was ridiculously difficult to clean. She'd always been proud of how it fell almost to her shins in a graceful swish, but because of that scouring her blood from it was like looking for a needle in a dozen, beautifully soft, haystacks. The smell was the worst part, clawing up her nose and reeking of dull copper.

Now, Bereni was not a neat freak. After using her wardrobifier to supply her with a fresh set of garments, and lacing her hair usual, intricate braid, she didn't bother scrubbing out any of the blood she smeared over the rest of her hive. Her body, however, was her pride and joy and she took good care of her best came naturally to most trolls, even more so to Bereni Timaha.

She wandered to her respiteblock, taking time to appreciate the sheer amount of mess she made during her deathrows. Truly, it was impressive how high on the walls she had managed to smear fluid. But, there was no time to gawk. She had to find her lusus and figure out exactly what this 'SGrub' game entailed.

" HEY!" She called, hoping that would be enough to get the ol' bird's attention. No response. Having no idea how The Glub affected Lusii, Bereni wondered if maybe hers had flown outside to get away from Bereni's obnoxious dying sounds. After several minutes of terse silence, she traipsed to a window and flung it open to look for the missing guardian.

Her ensuing gasp of shock flowed from the realization that this was not her hive stem.. From every vantage point, the land that stretched its way into the distant fog was not even Alternia. Deep green earth rolled out into valleys and ridges, streaked with colors of the hemospectrum in the form of rivers, forests, and other wilderness. Clouds rippled in multiple hues, blowing across the pastel purple sky in glowing sheens of color. In the distance, Bereni could make out shaded mountains, with clear silver words plastered across them which read:

" LAND OF SECRETS AND HUE."

Well, screw that. Bereni yanked the window closed just as quickly as she had opened it, and collapsed onto the edge of her recuperacoon. This couldn't be possible. You can't just pluck a hive from the communal stem; building's don't just disappear! How would- why- ugh!

As Bereni faced a minor mental collapse, she noticed a crude booklet on her four legged- sit device. It looked as if had been thrown there casually, like someone had placed it down after reading, but Bereni knew with all certainty she had never read, let alone seen it before. Mostly because of the crude, handwritten letters sprawled on the front: 'HEY! YOU! YES YOU!' and then a little below that, in neater script, ' An undead trolls guide to modified SGrub'.

" Oh, great, a handbook I have to read." There was only mild sarcasm in that sentence. Bereni hustled to where the book rested and picked it up. Her fingers ran along its spine, feeling the cheap, paper binding and inspecting it's yellowed pages. She flicked it open to break its stiffness a little, and noticed how none of the pages seemed printer. The letter sizes, colors, and even fonts varied from sentence to sentence, giving it a cramped, untidy feel. Shuffling to the beginning in hopes of finding a table of contents, Bereni was relieved to find there was at least some form of order to the jumble.

The book was split into five sections: Introduction, Objectives, Troubleshooting, Modifications, and Teammates. Bereni had her work cut out for her. She couldn't read in the recuperacoon, slime and all not being the best for books, but she nestled into a pile of relatively clean clothes that had been fermenting in a corner and set to absorbing all the book could tell her. The logical thing would be to begin at the beginning, but Bereni told herself she didn't give a shit and skipped straight to the interesting bits. Modifications caught her attention, what on Alternia could that mean?

In less than an hour, Bereni was ready to give up on Modifications. The phrasing was complex, the logic fuzzy at best, and a whole lot of terminology was thrown in that she was not equipped to handle. The section seemed to be detailing alterations made from the original SGrub format so that it could better fit the circumstances, but then again Bereni doubted any information gleaned from these pages. Something about it just seemed fictitious.

So she gave up on her renagade chapter selection, and flipped back to the opening pages. Surprisingly, she was greeted by something rather clear. ' FUCKING PANIC' was spelled out in sopor slime green, a wobbly hand having scrawled them over the first leaf. Under that, the real text began in a bizzar purple.

" _So, you're in the medium! Congratulations! For wigglers out there who don't know what the medium is, it's your own personal planet to do with as you please! Haha, just fucking with you. It's a planet all right, tucked into the nice little nook crease of space where we were able to dump you chumps. Each one of you has your own, "Land of fuckery and shitfarts" for example, is probably the one of whoever's reading this right now. You've got to figure out what your mission is on your shitty ground clump, and then complete the mission. LIKE A FUCKING VIDEO FUCKING GAME. See objectives on page 3tfg8 for more information on Personal Quests_."

This was going to get annoying really fast, however Bereni didn't have much of a choice considering her predicament. She spent hours pouring over the handbook, some sections even more vulgar than the previous had to be read two or three times. She practically bathed in foreign terms like alchemiter, build grist, gates skaia, and way too many more. She even tried to understand what she was reading! The attempt wasn't altogether successful, but she came out of the tail end of it with some idea of their overall objective, and a much clearer idea of how difficult it was going to be to obtain.

The technicolor clouds outside seemed to reflect the time of day, even if the sky never moved from its pastel purple. Through her reading, the rotating spew of colors mutated from warmer colors, into the soft, dusty blues she associated with morning. When Bereni was finally reaching the final section, Teammates, the clouds were into deep blues and purples. She was surprised to find the last section only one Page long. The writing was neat, black, and presented her with four trollian user-handles.

" _groomingAcolyte_

 _amenableConnoisseur_

 _circumventingGardener_

 _tenaciousGlider_ "

Crestfallen, but only slightly, Bereni didn't recognize any of them. So, none of the trolls in her social sphere got another chancr. Luckily, Bereni hadn't made any romantic commitments outside of a few flings in the red quadrants, so she wasn't heartbroken over the loss. You needed to be callous to avoid heartbreak in Alternia.

The last handle on the list was her own. Eyeing her husktop across the room, Bereni figured the next step would be to reach out to one of the other players, but which one? If there were any highbloods she was supposed to be cooperating with, they may get upset if she didn't contact them first out of respect. Then again, if she did contact a high blooded troll, they may be angry with her for going above her station. The low bloods might resent her for being higher than they are, but would the chance for second life even be offered to lowbloods? Bereni frequently cursed her position on the hemospectrum, as midbloods were either ostracized or welcomed on the whims of the other castes. She eyed the trollian handles carefully, looking for hints as to the user's position on the hemospectrum.

The word Acolyte stuck out. Wasn't that a religious word? Indigo bloods were notoriously unstable, and even more notoriously they welcomed a superstition of clownish proportions. Of course, it wasn't Bereni's place to judge her betters, however she decided that this would be the troll she reached out to first. Better to be safe than sorry. Bereni seized her husktop, and took a deep breath. She paused a minute to reflect on how strange it was she was able to breathe at all anymore, the true strangeness of her situation began to sink in. She quickly returned to trolling who ever was on the other side of GroomingAcolyte's handle. She was relieved to see her presumptions were correct, gA's color was a deep, almost purple, indigo. It looked strange next to her middling green.

tenaciousGlider (tG) began trollin groomingAcolyte (gA)

tG: Hello? Someone, on the other side of this could you please respond.

gA: YO, fellOw undeader.

tG: Umm, yo?

gA: Haha, the hOmie is dOwn with the lingO. Hey, yOu sniff Out the deal with aC yet?

tG: No I don't believe, I did.

gA: Thats fuckin funny. Let me knOw when yOu comprehend the level Of bizarr his being

here is, because when yOu dO the twO Of us can rOast his ass even more than I mOther

fuckign did.

tG: I don't follow.

gA: Well thats fuckin clear gOin by your sOpOr sludge blOOd, middy. Only thOse high

enOugh to cOmprehend the miracles listen to the messiahs.

tG: No I meant, I don't follow what you are saying about aC.

gA: YOu will.

tG: …

tG: Umm listen, maybe we got off on the wrong foot. You are clearly my superior in the

blood hue area, but since we must cooperate, to survive then can't we just do regular " Hi

nice to meet you" stuff?

gA: YOu first, greeny.

tG: Thank you; my name is Bereni Timaha, obviously olive blood, female, umm, 7 sweeps.

gA: Eygann Saxdai, a mirthful mOtherfucker Of the ingO schOOl, nook not bulge, 7 sweep.

gA: Smell ya later greeny, I gOt tO chew Out Our Other insult of a COmpaniOn.

groomingAcolyteb(gA) has disconnected from tenaciousGlider(tG)

She was going to be handful. Indigo bloods were always difficult, and this one seemed to relish in being nonspecific. Bereni didn't even get to half the topics she wanted to cover in that conversation, and the way Saxdai had talked about the other two she wasn't sue if she wanted to try again.

This pause in thought allowed Bereni to feel the true exhaustion in her calcium rods. Much like she pushed away the thoughts of consequences and the situation, she had been pushing down complaints from her body about how truly awful dying was. Her joints creaked, her nubs barely functioned, and there was a deep, pulsing ache all the way from her feed chute, through her stand-limbs, and back up to her think pan. Bereni throbbed with pain.

Maybe she should take a nap, collect her thoughts a little. She slipped off the clothes she was wearing, and eased her yelping body into the recuperacoon. The gratifying feeling of slime seeping over her validated her decision. A small nap couldn't hurt, she deserved it anyway.

Bereni had just come back from the dead, after all.

For some reason, there were no nightmares. Bereni's sleep was instead filled with muddy half thoughts, thick and slow like slime beasts. She couldn't remember any of it when she woke. And she really didn't try, for it was plain there were other matters to attend to. Her husktop was lighting up like a tree on twelfth Perigee's Eve.

She put on some fresh clothes, for the second time that day, and plopped down in front of the minor barrage of trollian messages. Luckily, there were none from Saxdai. While the highblood clearly deserved all of her attention, Bereni's apprehension about her other teammates had vanished in her slumber. Like her pains, it had been replaced by an eagerness, a hunger for information. She felt fit as a bow-string instrument, and yearned to know more about the mysterious trolls she was partnered with.

The first few messages were from circumventingGardener. To her disappointment, they typed in a dull bronze, lower than her own blood hue by scores. She loathed the idea of associating with someone little better than a peasant, but you can't luck out and get a forcibly cooperative clown worshipper every time. She looked through cG's messages, and then began to respond.

circumventingGardener (cG) began trolling tenaciousGlider (tG)

cG: hey

cG: are you still dead, or whatever?

cG: gA said you were active, so i thought maybe you would wanna hash out some plan stuff.

cG: ok then, just get back two me soon.

circumventingGardener (cG) ceased trolling tenaciousGlider (tG)

tenaciousGlider (tG) began trolling circumventingGardener (cG)

tG: I'm sorry, I was taking a nap. I didn't get your messages.

cG: were good. man, you were out for a long time though. did you talk to the juggalo?

tG: If you are referring to Saxdai; who, you know, has a name, then yes.

cG: who else would i bee talking about? wait,

cG: o god.

tG: What?

cG: your one of those mid bloods who just rolls over whenever someone higher even

sneezes in theyre direction arent you? youre going to spend this whole game just kissing Eyganns ass, and treating me and aC like dung even though your no better.

tG: I know my place on the hemospectrum, is that a crime? I'm not going to prostrate myself at Saxdai's feet or anything, but I'm certainly, not going to be getting any grandiose ideas about my own worth.

cG: *sigh* great. at least your self righteous on top of that. just do me a favor and lay off of aC. the kid is barely even five sweeps, if that. got culled a while ago. he doesnt need you AND the indigo blood hating on him.

tG: …

tG: Why is it that I seem to be butchering every conversation in this circle? And what is it about the fourth player that has both of you that I've spoken with so uptight? Can't we just do names like civilized trolls?!

cG: well

cG: your better than the clown so far. at least you give a shit about getting along. and as for aC, hell tell you himself.

cG: my name is Cirkin Vadova. im a male.

tG: Female, Bereni Timaha. 7 sweeps.

cG: im 7 ½.

tG: Interesting. So you wanted to talk strategy?

cG: yup. although you dont make a good first impression, you seem somewhat sane, and also more capable of dealing with me on a similar thought plane. plue we half too work together. i figured we could come up with some sort of overarching goal.

tG: The handbook; covered our goals pretty specifically…

cG: i meant as a team. i dont know about you, but mines get everyone out alive.

tG: That does seem to be the point, doesn't it?

cG: yup. so we agree, everyone gets out alive.

tG: Was that even up for discussion?

cG: trust me, it was. talk to aC before we go any further, youll understand. get your kernelsprite prototyped, alchemize some shit, and then start building youre clients hive. your way behind everyone else hear.

tG: Build their, hive?

cG: i thought you read the handbook. build it to the nearest gate so we can jump between worlds as efficiently as possible. even though weave started in the medium, we need to still be able to hop to our neighbors planets over the campaign. the 'SGrub' or whatever is already on youre husktop, just open it and get started.

tG: Must have missed that part. See, we don't have to be confrontational here. Things can work

cG: dont paronize me, thatll make this all the more painful. get working, we have time limit.

circumventingGardener (cG) ceased trolling tenaciousGlider (tG)

What was his problem? She understood her superior being miffed at her, Eygann had every right to detest her olive swill, but with this guy it was like he was waiting for her to stab him in the back. No… the way he talked about amenableConnoisseur, he was waiting for her to stab aC in the back. What was it about this the mysterious aC, practically a wiggler by Vadova's report, that had everyone so twisted up?

She clicked through trollian to find a few messages that the questionable compatriot himself had sent her.

amenableConnoisseur (aC) began trolling tenaciousGlider (tG)

aC: Hey!

aC: Wait, was that alittletoo forward?

aC: Ididn'tmeantooffend, ah, can we start over?

aC: Just shoot me a message whenever you feel like it :)

She paused reading. Though the messages were dated a few hours ago, the wiggler never disconnected. Odd. He also wasn't anything special from what she could tell. His words were mustard yellow, higher than Vadova; maybe he was nervous because Eygann engaged him hostily? Cirkin had hinted as much. Bereni knew she'd use the load gaper in her pants if a highblood three sweeps her senior came at her on the offensive. Either way, Bereni got to typing as fast as her prong-shoots would let her.

tG: I'm sorry, I was taking a nap and didn't get your messages. Bereni Timaha, everyone else got the rest of my scoop. How is the game so far on your end?

aC: Hello! I'm Leptus! And, the game, well, ah, ihaventreallygotanythingdoneyet.

tG: Pardon?

aC: You see, I'm your server player. You weren't awake, I couldn't connect, and we couldn't play! Cirkin's been great about building my hive on this end, but there wasn't so much I could do about you… :(

tG: Not to worry. I was irresponsible for sleeping while in an unknown environment. It seems we have a time limit, correct?

aC: Yup!

tG: That's not very exciting news,,

aC: Oh. letmetryagain.

aC: Yup. :/

tG: Now, is the server connection all we needed to sort out?

aC: No.

tG: Would you like to tell me what it is we need to cover before embarking on this vital mission that could restore our lives?

aC: Not really. But, ah,

tG: But?

aC: The high blood said that if I didn't tell you she'dhurtmesobad I'd wish I was still dead. I don't want to repeat thespecifics.

tG: Well spit it out then.

aC D:

aC: I'm, ah, I'mamutation. That's why I'm dead. Iwasculled for having a, ah, weirdbloodcolor.

tG:...

aC: You really hate me now.

aC: That's normal. But please don't yell at me. My real blood color is like a canary yellow, I just type in mustard because it's safer. Please don't yell.

tG: …

tG: I need a moment.

A mutant?! Bereni found it peculiar enough a fudge blood like Vadova was being offered a second chance, let alone a mutant wiggler with unnatural yellow swill- ugh! She forced her revulsion into a quiet discontent, even though her mind rebelled at even thinking of working with this… abomination. She could see why he died young now; her only wonder was that he escaped culling for even a few sweeps.

tG: Listen.

aC: Listening! :)

tG: I in no way am endeared toward your; affliction. However, we have a goal, and you serve a purpose in this escapade. We will not succeed without you. I will accept your presence for these reasons.

aC: Yup!

tG: Still not exciting.

aC: Well, you're not spewing about how much of an insult I am to troll kind, so I find that a little exciting. Plug in SGrub so I can get building and fulfill my 'purpose in the escapade'!

tG: Please, just don't tell me what to do,,

tG: I'm working on it as we speak.

tenaciousGlider (tG) ceased trolling amenableConnoisseur (aC)

It seemed Saxdai, as was her right, had already slammed a ramrod of caste hate up the little mutant's dung-chute. There was no point in Bereni repeating what her superior did. However, she needed to get working on this game. It had been made clear the goals, the rules, and the motive.

Now all there was left to do was play.


End file.
